Helping When Someone is Depressed

Depression is hard on relationships. 17 million Americans a year suffer from depression. It is usually ranked number one for mental health issues. It's also a major cause of difficulties in a couple. A depressed partner withdraws, gets irritable, may "use", do other things or leave. Recognizing depression and not other issues can be complex. Post Traumatic Stress (trauma) is often masked in depression. Sexual intimacy is affected by depression things. Unfortunately, anti-depressants aren't for everyone or may negatively affect sexual function. Non medication treatment can be extremely helpful without negative side effects. A technique similiar to EMDR, Brainspotting is one example.

Below are ways to help depression and be helpful to the depressed person:

• Make a way for communication to occur. A time and space (often not facing each other can work Better) to talk without interruption helps the conversation stay calm. Having information about what the depressed person thinks and feels helps too if you are encouraging them to seek professional help.
• Listen with an open mind. You probably have heard it all before. Hearing it with a "new" mind, nonjudgmental and with empathy will help the person the most. (Empathy means you listen but does not mean you agree with their view.)
  
• Encourage them to take positive actions. Self-care and responsibility is mood building for the depressed person. Getting started is hard because they will not feel like it. Yet if they are "helped" too much it actually lowers their self-esteem. Procrastination is common with depression as people are fearful of failing and often are perfectionist. Keep up the encouragement so that they can remember the small changes that happen and build.
• Social contact really is an antidote to depression. When we hears other people’s views, thoughts, and their activities we have the potential to gain new ways of thinking. Having a different perspective means negative assumptions can be identified and questioned. (Being aware of your thought process and “talking back” well is one technique of therapy.)
  
• The absolute "antidepressant" is exercise. You can start/continue an activity together.

Helping someone you care about can really make a difference long-term and throughout all the lives involved. Never ignore any expression of suicide. If you have immediate concerns call 911 or take the person to an emergency room. In some cases, using a suicide hotline or contacting Jackson County Mental Health during COVID maybe a option.

Depression, and depression related to trauma, is treatable by a doctor or counselor, preferably both. In many cases, depression caught early enough does not have to mean the person takes a medication. And if they will not receive counseling you can learn about depression so that you do not “catch” it and can carry out the above actions.