Emotional Connection on Valentines Day ❤️

We all want a Valentines Day that feels good whether we are with someone or not in fact we obsess about that day! Our brains are genetically hard-wired for attachment or connection yet we are incredibly vulnerable to show our needs. When a connection is warm and secure, we thrive in romantic relationships and feel less pain. When we are insecurely attached, either anxious or avoidant, we do feel pain, and are lonely.

When we do not have this type of connection or attachment, we can learn it with practice and trial and error, much like learning to play an musical instrument. Emotionally Focused Therapy brings couples together by using emotions to retrain the brain to respond with love and care to another person. And this can happen within an individual too! (We all know about our Internal Critic.) 

 

 

Online Counseling and In-Office Counseling: Hybrid Benefits for Clients

Updated July 14, 2021

Recently many things have changed in our world and the use of teletherapy is one. There are many benefits to teletherapy or video counseling. Here are a few:

1. protects participates or their loved ones from illness
2. convenience-can be done from anywhere
3. if needed/appropriate couples can be in different workplaces, towns or other locations after an initial session together
4. traveling one or both of you (within Oregon) not missing a session
5. using a specialist that is not in your area 
6. privacy with older children can be at home yet a parent is close by

Research has shown online counseling to be just as effective! In person therapy can be compared to holding a physical book in your hands.

Picture of a book, picture of kindle

Online therapy using a kindle to read an electronic book. Different but the same process and benefits for a client. Many people are surprised how comfortable they feel using online therapy. I have taken specialized training to make good eye contact, conveying warmth and working with more than one person online to provide the best, effective connection with my clients.

An initial conversation about online counseling can help you to learn more to show how the technology without committing to therapy.

A hybrid approach offers the "usual" type of therapy for those that wish that experience or to meet once to see me in person. Whatever you choose best wishes on recovering emotionally as well as physically during this post COVID time!

Long Healing Resources for Affairs

Long Healing Resources

New Resources

New Resources

Healing Resources for Affairs

These information resources are especially helpful in the first stage of healing Atonement. Use these tools carefully- you may be relieved you are not the only one or become overwhelmed by the reading. Use deep breathing, meditation or other ways to manage stress during this trama.

# 1 Not Just Friends: Rebuilding Trust and Regaining Your Sanity by Shirley Glass The Shirley Glass website also has articles. Best book for understanding all aspects of affairs/infidelity. Well balanced for everyone involved in an affair.  

Sleep and the Brian by Dr. Mike Lara. To access go to Drmikelara.com under Presentation Slides, natural remedies/behavioral changes are at the end of the slides. Usually right after discovering/revealing infidelity people don't eat or sleep well. if insomnia countinues check out these natural ways to sleep.

Tell Me No Lies. Ellen Bader and Paul Peterson. Explains reasons for lying in marriages and at different stages of marriage. This is not necessarily the first book to read but benefical to know about lies of commission and lies of omission. Lies of omission happen when a question is asked and the betrayer limits the answer to the specific question. "Where you with her in the store? No." (He was with her in the parking lot of the store). The Couples Institute has couple information tools along with services such as seminars and therapy in Menlo Park, California.

Faithful and True.com Pornography information for both husband and wife, seminars, groups and Intensives, Christian orientation.

Gentlepathmeadows. owned by Dr. Patrick J. Carnes. Dr. Carnes is the expert in the field of pornography and is a nationally known speaker on sex addiction and recovery issues. YouTubes, books, and other resources.

All these resources can be part of a process that brings you closer, helps you decide if you want to leave and gives clarity about choices along the way. Let me know if I can be of help. I do this work without judgment and I see amazing, healthy growth occur.